 Anne-Marie was the eldest of five children and was the ‘care-taker’. Her parents were kind and loving, but one of her parents could be quite manipulative, and play the victim card in order to get there needs met.
Over the years, Anne-marie naturally slipped in to the role of the care-taker, fixer and rescuer in her relationships. Within her marriage she was the one who ‘took care of everything’. Like many of my clients she was also in a position of responsibility with her work. She was great at solving problems, sorting things out, and being highly intuitive she was also able to discern what people required - often before they even knew that they did. What happens to a lot of my clients is that after years of taking care, rescuing, and care-taking they begin to get resentful. The background song to this chapter could be “What about me?” And rightly so! You count, and you are worthy of being looked after, just like everybody else. My client was resistant to inner child work. She held firmly to the belief that her childhood had been great and she had nothing to complain about. Whilst her childhood, like yours, may have been great on many levels, it is a classic Empath thing to minimise your own experiences, and maximises everybody elses pain. My client believed that she had been treated fairly as a child. As we gently gazed in, it became clear to her that she had in fact been treated like an adult, been given huge responsibilities of looking after her siblings and taking on adult-like tasks, and was not allowed to be a child and just have fun. Fun - yes people FUN! Updating her boundaries was a big part of this work as energetically she was becoming depleted, resentful and burnt out. Where does this resonate for you? If you would like to book a complimentary 20 minute session to feel in to working together, please reach out.
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 HOW CLEARING THE PERSECUTION WOUND HELPED STELLA
When Stella came to see me, she was confused about her next steps. A highly intuitive, wise healer with a kind heart and amazing skilled at the modalities that she shared, she was struggling to move forward as she kept questioning her self, and her wisdom. She described herself as ‘weird’ and kept saying ‘I feeling like I am going mental” As I reflected back her words and her wisdom to her, it was evident that there was a theme of the fear of being seen as too weird, crazy, mental or insane. She was using a lot of her energy to ‘fit in’ and ‘appear normal’, and would often mask herself, shut down her light, and her natural gifts of intuition and healing, around people who she felt were not open to her. As I reflected back her language, and her wisdom, this was enough for her to feel in to the possibility that there was a time when she was actually locked up for being wise, intuitive, a seer and an oracle. In this life time this manifested as fear of being ‘truly seen’. In her healing business, she was standing at the precipice, but couldn’t get past this block. On top of this, as a child she had been highly criticised, so lacked an inner soothing voice of support. Because of this she had craved external validation from a partner, and because her wounding and her story was all around ‘being safe to be in her wisdom’, of course the field played back to her people in her family reflecting back this core wounding. As we tapped through the points, we worked on clearing any and all past life times where she had been locked up for being a wise oracle, as well as any fear that she was holding in her body and in her energy field. It was Intense! This is such a common theme with so many intuitives that they hold the persecution wound, as a fear of being seen in their feminine power and wisdom. Becoming conscious of these core patterns, finding the root cause, and working on clearing the trauma held in the energy field has huge effects. Working on clearing energy strands to those who had persecuted in other timelines also had a massiave ripple effect. When souls have come in with a big mission to spread their wisdom and their light, they will often have to walk the path that they will be sharing in order to become an energetic match with what they are sharing. This is an example of this, as once this vibration was cleared, her field was an energetic resonance with ‘being visible’ and she began to feel safe to be seen, and hence her work opened up.  Pleasure - the fine art of "Pleasing you" Mmmmmm! If you want to TRIGGER the fk out of the feminine especially say the word pleasure! You will feel base chakras tightening in their defence mechanism everywhere! The wounding around matyrdom, hyper-independence, hard work and distrust of the masculine will all come out to play.
I'm here to stand up for pleasure and sing out loud that pleasure is a portal! A portal that has been denied and shut down, but which is now opening back up. Pleasure changes everything! Here's a client story (shared with permission). My client was nearly at burn out. When she came to see me she was 'working hard', really didn't have any joy in her life, wasn't having any sex or self pleasure, looked older then her years, and was getting constantly sick. It took time to allow in the concept of pleasure in to her life. The wounding and her programming that she had heard constantly when she was young was 'you have to work hard to get what you want". This had made her amazing at being in her masculine and at doing all of the things, but hadn't allowed her to have any relationship whatsoever with her inner feminine, or to open up to receiving. This was evident in all of her relationships where she rushed around helping family and friends, and then became resentful when she required help as she never got any support. As we worked with her old programmes, she began to get conscious of the ways that she was creating her life. She began to find a new place inside of her of safety around allowing herself to be supported, to receive and to experience pleasure in all of its forms. This was life changing! She even began to start doing things that she enjoyed! No longer bitter and resentful as she was taking care of her own pleasure this started to over flow in to her whole life. The pleasure she began to give herself started out with small things like taking time to be with her hands around a hot cup of coffee, the breeze on her face. She began to say no to people (oh la la that is just soooo sexy!!! ) and take time time for herself, putting herself first. Then as she unlocked the pleasure door she began to experience a level of pleasure that she had never known. It radiated out from her, changing how she looked, her whole energy field and her 'presence' and ability to connect in with the divine. The conditioning around pleasure is so insidious. We've really been sold a "hot lie" in terms of denying ourselves pleasure. Where I see the wounding play out the most in the feminine is here
The antidote to this is to:
In my own life, opening up to allowing in more pleasure has been so life changing. As a Scorpion, I've always been hot on pleasure as one of lives greatest gifts, and find myself now calling myself a pleasure witch! I've had to become conscious of many old programmes that I was running around allowing myself time, rest, space, my desires and am now deeply embedded in pleasure and joy as being a huge part of my life. If you read this and find yourself feeling triggered, that's okay honey heart. These wounds are deeply embedded in our society and it can be hugely annoying to see them bought to light. What if you could allow in just a flicker of things that light you up, turn you on, make you fizzy and do them again and again and again and again and again.....then what if you could couple that with your strong intentional desires?This is the pleasure portal where we bring together pleasure, desire and watch those dreams come true. Breathing here with you as we all collectively rise back up in to pleasure. Love Gilly  Recently, I was asked this question and thought I'd answer it here
Question : "Have you ever had your body go out in sympathy with someone else's?" Answer: Ahhh yes empath life! In my 20s I got a headache which I never normally got when I was staying with a lady. I knew it wasn't mine, and then this was confirmed as she told me she had a terrible headache. This was a massive wake up call for me as I realised that my highly sensitive nature made me a sponge for other peoples physical ailments as well as there emotional states. A lot of my work is about teaching ways to manage our energy with both emotional and physical energetic boundaries so we don't take on other peoples "stuff" Here are a few quick tips: 1) Set your energy up first thing in the morning. I have a routine of movement then meditation and connecting in with my inner guidance before I engage with anyone or anything (no phone!). I set a very clear intention every morning that I am in my own energetic bubble. If it helps you, imagine a solid gold bubble around your aura or energetic field. 2) When you are with someone and they are in an intense state keep your energy located in the lower half of your body. Wiggle your toes if required. Avert your eyes or cross your arms if required or take a break from the energy. 3) Practice good and clear energetic boundaries. By knowing your own emotional state before you engage with others you will know what is yours and what is theirs. 4) If you pick something up, which happens as an Empath HSP, make sure you clear the energy from your field by a method that works for you. These are some of my personal favourites; going in to water, washing my hands, an ocean swim, a magnesium salt bath. Grounding by putting my feet and hands on the ground. Saging the space and my energetic field. 5) Intention: At night I clear my field by saying "I call back my energy and release anything that isn't mine back to the light and so it is" ENERGY Is REAL Your energy is your GOLD. Just like cleaning your teeth, it is important to keep a well maintained energetic system for your whole systems well being. Every individual is different and whilst these practices are good general advice, it is important to look in to why you overly empathise with others and if there is a codepence, energetic dependence, addiction to rescuing, saving or need to escape your own field. Working together we go deeper in to these subtle and often tender spots and work to call your own energy back to yourself. I've seen literal miracles occur with people returning their energy home to themselves. Love Gilly  I remember, in my 30's, standing in my kitchen of my beautiful home, with my beautiful loving family, and feeling this deep ache within. An ache, a longing. It felt like an ache that could never be filled by anyone or anything.
I had never ever heard someone say the words "souls homesickness", but as I stood there, that is what was whispered to me. It was a watershed moment, as I understood that as a soul having a human experience, no love on the earthplane would ever truly fill me with the deep, unconditional love of our souls home. As I described it to my client "This ache, ...the longing, the soul's homesickness". There were tears in her eyes as she finally felt seen. "Yes that ache...that feeling of never having the love that I know I had before I came here" I want to bring the "souls ache" to light, because so many of us as highly sensitives or empaths have this deep ache within our soul, that we call so many other things. Once we realise that this ache can never fully be satiated by life or by anyone here in the physical.. we begin to see the source of so many of our addictions and heart ache. As we acknowledge this deep longing or homesickness, we begin to be able to be in the contrast of this experience here on earth more fully. We accept that we have always been looking for the source of unconditional love, and we stop searching outside of us and come back home to ourselves. We stop gazing outwards at addictive behaviour to fill our souls ache and we apply that beautiful balm of love to our hearts. We allow ourselves to be in deep compassion with ourselves and deep reverance for how hard it is to be away from that absolute unconditional love, and we begin to find the small flicker within our heart that turns in to a burning inferno of self love. I invite you to dive more fully in to this ache and find what lies beneath it as it is a beautiful and very sacred invitation home to yourself. To book a soul session, and to untangle your story, receive clarity, clear addictive patterns, and allow in more joy, and learn to fill that souls ache by returning to yourself click here I did a video on my instagram story last week. At 3:33am I woke up panicked! The story had automatically uploaded on to my facebook and people I knew were commenting (LOL). My nervous system went in to high alert. I deleted the story from my facebook and went back to sleep.
In the light of the morning, I, of course, felt totally fine and had to have a wee chuckle at how my old wounds still trigger sometimes. Like many of you, I've had many lives where I've been killed for speaking up, being different, being a witch (hellowww Halloween baby, even had a wart on my nose when I was 13!). Even if you don't believe in past lives, we hold within us our previous generations pain particularly within the feminine of being shut down, repressed and killed. 12 years ago I stumbled across EFT or the Tapping technique. I had a session with a lady at this time around showing up more fully with my work. I'd been hiding in the shadows doing healing, but I knew that I was blocked. We worked together but I just knew that it wasn't from this life time. Luckily life led me to an amazing woman who also did past lives within the tapping session. When I entered in to the past life I saw that I had been the local town healer. I was only 12 and the chief was dying. We both knew that it was his time to go, and so I prepared him some remedies to help him transition. The tribe however weren't ready to let there chief go and blamed me for his death. He died, and, you guessed it, I was banished from the tribe. Which meant certain death. I had carried that fear deep within my being and when the memory came up I was able to clear a layer around speaking up and being seen. This deep trauma and fear had been lurking in my energy field, unwitnessed and unseen. Obviously it still comes up sometimes, but nothing like it used to where I would literally make my intuitive abilities invisible. Over the 7 years that I've been using Tapping with myself and my clients, I have organically developed the Intuitive Tapping Process which goes deeper then traditional EFT and encompasses Past lives, clearing through multiple time lines (future even), Akashic Records, Intuitive healing techniques, compassionate witnessing and a myriad of other Intuitive practices. I'm so excited to share this course with those of you who this resonates with. The course starts on August 31st and runs for 4 weeks with 4 live calls as well as pdf of tapping scripts that I've intuitively downloaded. You can use these with your self, family or clients. This will be a small intimate group so you will have the opportunity to receive individual tapping within the group setting. The best part of tapping is that you get borrowed benefits from tapping along with others. If you are ready to be empowered you can read more about the course here, or to experience an individual session click here. Gilly X I’ve recently lost the weight I packed on last year.
Mannnn I resisted losing it though. “Fuck it I she cried - middle finger raised high! “ I had to gently take myself through my intuitive tapping process. Firstly I wrote out all of my inner shiz about weight and my body. My inner REBEL was screaming! My inner rebel rocks. She’s rebellious, opinionated, not afraid to speak up, a real fighter. However left without love she can become my inner saboteur. I listened and validated all of her ANGER, her RAGE, her desire for FREEDOM, her tears of FRUSTRATION. I held her in so much love as we tapped together. She felt so heard. I asked her if she was happy being heavier…she told me in no uncertain terms to fuck right off and that she could be any weight she wanted. I loved her even more in her glorious staunch rebellion. I told her I loved her hard out no matter the size of her ass (this is truth) Then as the gaze of grace and compassion softened her edges and the power of alchemy came in ….she began to shift. She realised she could be a proud rebellious empowered woman but also love herself enough to be strong and healthy. The tapping released emotions and old stories that weren’t serving us both so quickly. The compassionate heart hold made her feel so safe. She would continue to have a voice. Here’s to our sassy inner rebels and to listening to those stories so we become conscious of our inner saboteur!!! Freedom  I woke up today with the phrase on my lips "complicit in the lie"
The fairy tale from my childhood "The Emperors New Clothes" came to mind. f you need reminding, here is the story. In a nutshell it is about a very vain Emperor who is conned in to thinking that the clothes that are being made for him are so amazing that only those of high intelligence can see them. Everyone on his staff is so afraid of losing their jobs or being termed simple, that they all agree with the Emperor that his clothes are incredible, when there are in fact NO clothes. The emperor ends up parading through the streets naked! It isn't until a young boy - a truth speaker exclaims "But he has nothing on" that the lie is set free. This truth is then whispered through the crowds, until everyone starts to speak the truth. The emperor, knowing full well he actually isn't wearing any clothes, continues on in his parade pretending that he has in fact got the finest clothes on rather then admit that he too has been duped. So I ask myself why? Why do people remain complicit in a lie, rather then speaking the truth?
I remember in my 20's watching a 'healer' at an expo in Auckland working on a woman. A crowd of us were watching him as he touched her breasts as part of her 'healing', I thought to myself 'why is no one screaming out STOP?' But as I looked around me, it seemed as if everyone was okay with what was happening. This made me doubt myself. Maybe what he was doing wasn't wrong (it was!). Maybe I didn't know what I was talking about. Maybe I wasn't as advanced as these other healers. Is it any different from those that turned a blind eye to abuse in its many forms over the years. The neighbour with the black eye, the kids that were clearly not being looked after, the co-worker who was being touched by the boss? Complicit in the lie? So what do we do when we are faced with an "Emperors New Clothes" lie:
Or is there another way? Do we quietly accept that our intuition, our wise inner voice, and our own knowing knows that something isn't right. Do we turn away from the parade and the charade and leave the emperor to it. Leave the crowds of those that are complicit in the lie, and go home, focusing on our own rising truth, creating sanctuaries for those, for when they are ready to hear the truth? In my own journey, I have found that for HSP (highly sensitive people), speaking up requires a lot of support. Truth becomes freed when it is expressed in to loving, compassionate, kind, non-judgemental spaces. A special alchemy occurs when a truth is heard by someone who is able to hear it, to hold it , to validate it and to reflect and mirror it back. This piece is a curious enquiry to create thought. I have no answers, only questions and am interested in your feedback.  The part of you that knows:
I want to take a moment to lovingly honour and acknowledge the part of you that 'knows'. This part of you that has known since forever. It has no rhyme or reason. It isn't rational. It can't be explained. It can't be convinced. It has always been and will always be. I know that as a child you knew things. You felt things before they happened. You got glimpses. Whispers. Over time you forgot, or you gave up those knowings because it was so uncomfortable. Knowing made you feel responsible. It often bought with it rejection. And then as you got older, you remembered. All. the. times. Something hadn't 'felt' quite right. An inner voice. A feeling. An unknown sensation that had 'warned' you. A premonition. A vague whisper And then as you gently began to honour your truth. Your knowing. Something lands. It's big, and its powerful. It feels like you returning home. ***There's nothing left but you and your knowing. *** I'm here to greet you in that 'knowing'. I know how it feels to know things before you are 'meant' to know them. I know how uncomfortable it is to voice a truth that no one wants to hear and for it be rejected. I know the pain and I know the loneliness. I also know the strength and the ferociousness it creates. I stand with all of you who know things, even though you don't know how. With love Gilly There is a part of each of us that longs to assign blame to another. We look outwards to our partner, our family, our world and we see “wrong” in the other. We blame our leaders, our governments, the rich, the “powerful”, and yet the true nature of this world is that we live in a hologram. As uncomfortable and disconcerting as this may be, it isn’t until we gather all information, enotions, feelings, that we project and gently harness it together to be tenderly held and witnessed that we are able to alchemise our projections. And because we are so very human and we believe that we are all disconnected we see the “other” as wrong and us as right. What if we could take a moment to stop looking outside and very gently ask ourselves where we are that which we judge. Where are we divisive? Where are we at war? Where are we not in our truth. This is deeply uncomfortable work as it is far easier to blame, be a victim and forget the true nature of our multidimensional self. The truth is if it is within our experience it is here for us to integrate and is serving our evolution individually and collectively on some level - even when it very much doesn’t feel like it is. I’m holding love to us all as we allow ourselves to witness ourselves more fully through the most gentle loving and kind eyes.  |
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