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ADVOCATING FOR OUR SENSITIVE HEARTS
One of the hardest things as sensitive, empathic beings is standing up for yourself, and advocating for your own heart Honestly, this has been one of the biggest parts of my journey, and something that I am still learning. As Empaths we... *Enjoy harmonious relationships and want to sprinkle magic fairy dust and love everywhere *Are naturally conflict adverse *By nature feel energy much more intensely - so find being around conflict an actual physical experience. Let me give you an example: When I was 10 a teacher told a friend and I off. She was yelling at us and naturally I cried (that is my nature). My friend on the other hand was able to quietly and concisely advocate for her own heart and stand up to the teacher in a strong and empowered way. . That's the thing. Because of our different natures, my friend was able to remain calm and centered. I on the other hand could feel the teachers energy like a tidal wave of emotion that flooded every cell of my body. _________________________________________ So how do we handle conflict and advocate for our sensitive hearts: *Avoidance and getting out of there.... two strategies which pretty much every sensitive has used!!! *Giving love to our gentle hearts. Much of the return home to our own inner strength is about reclaiming our sensitivity as a super power. *Learning some energy protection methods. *Practice out loud advocating for our hearts. Look in the mirror and say "Don't stand so close to me" "Go away" "I don't like it when you speak to me like that" "Stop it, I don't like it" I recently had a young client who had a situation that called for advocacy of her own gentle heart. We practiced this new way of advocating for her own heart and wowser the shift in her energy! #powerhouse To book a complimentary intuitive soul-connect session via zoom www.gillygodward.com To book a complimentary intuitive soul connect session click here https://www.gillygodward.com/soulcoaching.html
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Self promotion can seem like the scariest concept for my tribe of Gentle hearted Soulpreneurs.
I have had to battle some MAMMOTH inner demons to come to a place of 'relative' comfort around Self Promotion. Here are 5 Tips that have really helped me to understand this: 1) YOU ARE NOT ALONE OMG you are so not alone Sister! Nearly every single one of my clients deals with there own "Self Promotion Blocks" in one way or another. I've listed the most common blocks that I have heard with clients and also blocks I've had myself to let you see that you are truly not alone...... I'm not enough
What will people think of me?
Random Self-defeating talk and feel free to add your own here!
Perfectionism - Procrastiperfectionism
Did anything resonate here? May be you have your own list! You get the picture though don't you honey...the self-talk around Self-Promotion can be pretty heavy and pretty self-defeating. So what can we do about this: STEP ONE - Acknowledge the feelings and thoughts: Rather then suppress these feelings, or label them as 'bad'....give yourself time to allow these feelings to surface to the top of your mind, and give them some air time. To enable you to acknowledge the feelings, or the shadow, it is sometimes helpful to have an Intuitive Soul-Biz Mentor like me - who can quickly discern your self sabotage and bring gentle, playful, light and depth to this. By joining a group like the Superstars group you also get to hear not only your own self-sabotage but also see other people's shadow mirrored back to you. Basically let those inner self-sabotage thoughts about Self Promoting be acknowleged so that they can't run the show. STEP TWO - SHIFT THE ENERGY *Tapping is brilliant to shift the energy. You can easily make up your own script by just tapping as you say your 'story' out loud. Let all of those feelings be heard with no judgement. You may even find your self giggling at the absurdity of them. *Acknowledge that these feelings are coming from a place of Fear and the Ego voice which is set up to keep us safe. *Realise that these thoughts are often where you go under stress. You can acknowledge that they are there but not live in 'fear town' all the time. *Come up with a positive affirmation to use so that you can own your new energy. Some that I like are "It is safe for me to shine" "As I shine, I give others permission to also shine" "It is my time to shine" "It is my light that frightens me" STEP THREE - REALISE IT ISN'T ABOUT YOU When I feel fear about self promoting, I often put my hand on my heart and say "Gilly Godward, it is NOT about you" This helps to take me out of the ego voice (above) and focus instead on sharing what I know to help others. Just by shifting the focus to thinking that there is just 'one person that I can help' changes the energy. I'd love for you to try this and see what happens. STEP FOUR - FIND YOUR HAPPY PLACE WITH PROMOTION Finding your happy place with self-promotion is crucial to success for the heart-centered soulpreneur. There are a million ways to get your message out there then find what feels really comfortable to you, and do it consistently. Some of you will feel most comfy sharing your light by blogging, others by facebook lives, or youtube, instagram, linkedin, networking groups, newspaper print, advertorials, television, magazine articles. For some people it's in the flesh networking, for others (like me) that is their idea of hell in a handbag. For me I tend to get overwhelmed by big crowds of people and have trouble remembering peoples name so networking groups aren't the best. However I find it effortless to do a facie live, and love facebook so tend to do most of my promo there. It's just easy to me. In saying that, I am making myself do more of the in person networking as I love challenging myself and growing. Basically I approach it as an exercise in self-development and have become a little more comfortable in the discomfort. STEP 5 - CONGRATULATE YOURSELF EVERY STEP OF THE WAY Every time I do any form of self promotion I give myself a high five. As a solopreneur there is often no one to congratulate you apart from yourself, so just make sure that you do it a LOT. Have a couple of great friends that can also give you a high five to help you celebrate overcoming those (very real) blocks to self promotion. Come and join us in the Superstars Group so that you have a group of awesome soulpreneurs to cheer you along, and remind you of your greatness when you have forgotten it. Lastly, have FUN WITH THE EXPERIENCE. Many others have gone before you, and if you talk to them, they have ALL felt the same way. It's easy to look at other successful women and think "Oh it's easy for them", but believe me girlfriend from all of the amazing women that I have coached over the years, I know that self-promotion is one of the hardest things of all. I'd love to hear your thoughts about this and for you to comment below. Lots of hugs and love...... p.s) Tell me when you have done a self-promo and I will do an air high five with you gorgeous Superstar! Love Gilly XXXX THE EPIDEMIC OF LONELINESS & DISCONNECTION
Years ago, I remember standing in my kitchen and crying. I had everything. A beautiful loving family, amazing soul friends and yet still feeling a deep thud of disconnection and what I term 'soul homesickness'. This deep yearning within me to feel that sense of home and love that I know exists beyond this realm ...unconditionally. It was like a grief and an ache in my soul. Now I know that it was me calling myself home. Calling myself to 'commune' with myself. It was an ache that couldn't be soothed by being around people. In fact this made it worse. I would often feel lonely in a crowded room. We often hear about this 'epidemic of loneliness', and how our brains are hard-wired for 'community'. I believe that it isn't about racing out and joining clubs, as UNTIL you turn inwards and apply the own balm that you are craving to yourself first, you will always be left aching. If you are a highly sensitive, heart-centered being, like me, you would definitely have had your sensitive heart shut down at some point in your life. This often makes us disconnect from our deep feelings and not feel safe to be seen for who we truly are. From my own experience, what I learnt is that when I stopped rejecting the parts of myself that I was holding in judgement like being so sensitive, being an intuitive healer, I felt like I was missing something. That was ME! I became almost giddy with joy when I realised that all I so deeply desired was within me. Self compassion, being witnessed, discernment about who I shared my heart with all were beautiful jewels that helped the process.. Now, I have fallen so deeply in love with my own energy, that everywhere I go, I am with my own best friend. Me! I adore helping others to really deeply commune with their own heart. To be witnessed in love for the parts of themselves that they often judge and to become filled to the brim with their own love. Magical and miraculous things come from this space...... The 10 years I spent in the Corporate world in my 20's sure were a "spiritual practice".
The spiritual practice of trying to hide my true identity. One particular board (bored) meeting springs to mind for me. I was 29, in an English summer, stuck in a mahogany board room with 12 very well to do English gentlemen - average age 93. We were discussing something so boring, I had to start drinking the black coffee and eating copious mints just to maintain a heart beat. When it came my turn to speak, I started to get the giggles (inwardly) as I had an almost out of body experience and realised that I was actually 'acting'. Wrinkly eyes peered at me, and I feared I would actually break in to song. But not wanting to break character, I played the game. Acted my role so well. Heads nodded. I knew staying in this world would kill 'me'. The truth was melting out of me like caramello chocolate. It could not be contained. Sure I would be alive in body, but where would the gregarious, emotional, alive, funny, weird, kooky, spiritual, sensitive, caring, empathic being be? Who would I turn in to if I couldn't use my Soul gifts. If I couldn't serve and be served doing what I loved? F**K that I'd love to say I threw my shoulder padded jacket down, turned on my heels and moon-walked out of that meeting. But the truth was far more painfully slow. Reclaiming myself, being okay with being me, giving myself permission to create a sacred life that made ME happy has been the #!$#!#$!#$ hardest journey of my life. A journey that I'm still walking. Thats what I help women to do to create a 'Sacred life' by....
PEOPLE PLEASING to PLEASING YOURSELF
As gentle hearts, our energy and emotions are often more tuned in to pleasing others, and keeping other people comfortable, then pleasing ourselves. For many years I put others needs and emotions before myself - not even realising that I could put myself in the picture. Do you relate? In Business: I used to over accommodate my clients, try and create offerings in my business that would keep 'everyone happy' ....except for me! This is nothing to be ashamed of, as it is endemic amongst heart-centered women. On the face of it, people-pleasing appears noble, but energetically it can leave us burn out, exhausted, angry and wondering why everyone else is happy apart from us! People pleasing may happens when we are:
This is the work that I do with clients to help them to feel fully supported in gently returning back to their own hearts . I want you to know that it is okay, and actually vital, to please yourself first, even when it feels deeply uncomfortable, and confronting. Love to hear your thoughts about this.... I didn't choose the depths, the depths chose me.For all of you deep, sensitive, passionate, emotional, intense souls, who have ever been told you care too much, are too much, feel too much, know too much, speak too much truth.
I. FRICKING. SEE. YOU Last night I was awoken from a dream with my name being called loudly. "GILLY' !!!! I woke up terrified. The dream was me deep in the water, being a guide for a diver deeper in the depths. I was frightened, but I knew that I had to keep strong for the diver who was deeper then me. This has been my work. Holding space for others deepest truths, intensity, knowing, inner healer, and wisdom to rise up. I tried many times to swim to shallow waters, to deny the intensity, to numb it, to fit in, but each time a part of my soul died. Is it comfortable to be swimming here. Hell. NO! Do I want to show up, speak up all the time. Of course not. Do I have a choice. No. Is it worth it. YES...... Are you swimming in new seas at the moment. New feelings, insights, intuitions opening? I am here to support big truth, intense emotions, wise women, truth arising. Love Gilly X |
AuthorGilly Godward Archives
June 2024
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